Sick for a reason

I hate being sick. I really do. Right now, I have way too much going on in my life to have time to be sick.

When I woke up and was definitely sick yesterday morning, I was not pleased. There was nothing I could do, however, but stay in bed and try and rest. Thankfully, I did get some rest.
Once I got up and started functioning, I tried to make my day as "normal" as possible. I tried talking to some friends, which got me nowhere. I emailed one of my pastors to talk about the meeting we were supposed to have in the afternoon, didn't get a reply. Tried to pray, couldn't concentrate. Tried to read the Word, still couldn't concentrate. I managed to listen to an hour of Chuck Missler, but I have to question how much I actually took in. I couldn't even concentrate well just hanging out and goofing off with some friends online.

As the day wore on, I was becoming increasingly frustrated with both the circumstances of the day, and with myself for not being able to do anything. I distinctly remember thinking "how can I be doing anything to serve God when I'm feeling like this? How can I spend any time with Him if I can't even concentrate on prayer??"

Needless to say, I was feeling worse and worse. I was unable to make it to Bible study. I actually tried to get a ride (I couldn't handle the bus) but was unable to reach anyone. God had other plans.

I had already told people that I wasn't going to be at the bible study we've been having online, and I certainly did not have anything prepared. I didn't feel capable of even coming up with something, so if no one else had, I was going to forget the study. However, one of the regulars found me online, and although he wasn't prepared with anything, he insisted that I show up so they could pray for me. I agreed, a little reluctantly.

So, we headed over for bible study. No one else was there. I was just about to say that we should forget it when someone new wandered in. He had n idea there was a study going on, but when we told him that we normally did a study at this time, his reply was "Oh good, I haven't been a very good Christian lately."

All of a sudden, I wasn't feeling quite so physically ill. Perhaps I stopped paying attention, I'm not sure. However, after the prayer, I engaged him in conversation, and soon enough, I was leading a discussion on 2 Cor 6:14-16. (He had been lead astray by some non-Christian friends.) A few other people appeared, and everyone was pleased. No one was happier than the one who had wandered in by accident, however. He was beyond relieved to be able to talk about what was going on in his life, and to have found people that were willing to listen, and who could guide him based on the Scriptures. (Please note that I don't feel that I am capable of leading a Bible study, I pray through them and the Spirit gives me words to ummm...type) We closed, I lead in prayer for him, and there seemed to be quite a breakthrough.

Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.

Seems like I was feeling to ill to go to my normal bible study for a reason, doesn't it?

As I was being thanked by the others who were around for my words, I started sputtering a bit and reminded them that it wasn't me, it was Him. and just as I have said in the past to a few people, one person flat out told me that I allowed God to use me, and that in itself deserved thanks. Although I know that it is our duty to do so, there is some truth in that. If you surrender yourself to God and allow Him to use you, no matter what circumstance you are in, He will do it. The results are beyond amazing, and totally unexpected.

As I sit here this morning drinking chicken broth and ginger ale, and eating jellybeans (I'm still not feeling great, and yes, jellybeans are always necessary), I am just beyond grateful that God is in control, not us. He really does know what He's doing.

"But I trust in your unfailing love; my heart rejoices in your salvation" Psalm 13:5 (NIV)